how does one explain ghetto tech to middle-aged white males? if you’re me, you use terms like ‘offensive’ and ‘vulgar’ and ‘juvenile’ and ‘sex-drenched’ and ‘hilarious’ and then quote lyrics from DJ assault tracks until they stare at you like a drunken idiot. someone else sitting at the back table with me helped demonstrate by making ass-smacking motions with his hands. however, i don’t think they’ll be picking up any disco D or DJ funk records anytime soon …

ten things about me … nine are true, one is a complete fabrication:

i can tie a cherry stem into a knot with my tongue. [10]

i have seen ricky martin in concert. [9]

i voted for bill clinton — twice. [8]

i kept william gibson waiting at the los angeles booksigning for ‘virtual light’ because i was engrossed in a conversation with the cute boy behind me in line. [7]

i applied to and was accepted by the university of chicago, but chose to follow in my parents’ boilermaker footsteps instead. [6]

i wear an outlandishly gaudy diamond ring, a gift from my parents, on my left hand as an obfuscation tactic, tricking men into thinking i’m already married. [5]

i have tucked a dollar into a stripper’s g-string. [4]

poetry i’ve written has been shown on a national news broadcast. [3]

i shook dan quayle‘s hand at a republican fund-raiser. [2]

linda hamilton once asked me where she could get a copy of the sunday los angeles times. [1]

i would say ‘leave yr guesses in the comment tag,’ but blogvoices is currently fukt, so you can’t. i guess you could email/IM yr guesses …

so you think television news is glamorous and fun, and you’ll be swamped with hot babes once you score that first on-air gig? these responses, from a survey done by a professor at the missouri school of journalism, might change your mind …

a twenty-something weatherman: ‘i work nights and weekends. i’m single. enough said.’

a thirty-something anchorwoman: ‘men seem intimidated by my high-profile position and afraid to ask me out.’

a thirty-something sports director: ‘people outside [the business] don’t want to know me, just the TV me.’

since this lab is too freezing for me to write anything coherent, check out DEMF coverage from the UK’s new musical express instead.

the return of random unexplained haiku!
levelling off, so
soon? after all this time, i
feel undeserving.

today’s olberblog is not sponsored by that annoying wireless camera ad that pops up on every damn newspaper site i visit nowadays …

richard sandomir of the new york times broke through the wall of howard beale on KO’s answering machine … and
this is the result:

The singular odyssey of Keith Olbermann continues. Divorced two weeks ago from Fox Sports Net, he faces joblessness on a seven-figure income for the rest of the year. Not a bad way to endure another period when his talent is put to the test of finding an outlet willing to take a chance that he will tow prestige, ratings or good publicity behind him.

Since 1997, he has left ESPN, MSNBC and Fox. All survived.

hsm, that sounds like a death notice for the man’s career … is that really necessary?

sandomir dutifully reports that KO has fielded at least nine queries from parties interested in his services, calls his subject ‘a hot personality who was more than willing to rile his bosses,’ delivers the usual ‘rebellious network news guy’ spin, ie. ‘he is curmudgeonly –not that there is anything wrong with that — and offers up a restless, mischievous persona.’ awwwwww.

and what does that restless, mischievous, handsome man think he’ll be doing once the thirty weeks’ paid vacation is over? ‘olbermann guesses that he will probably end up with a full-time TV news job and a part-time radio position that will satisfy his addiction to sports.’ sounds peachy-keen to me. just make sure it’s on a cable network that i recei–oh, wait, i don’t have cable. nevermind.

from the reuters wire … ‘a lack of hope for the future is associated with a higher death rate among older men and women, a team of researchers report.’ oh, great. that cheers me right up.

bwah, apple evangelism in ‘doonesbury’ … methinks steve dug it.

i have north campus for the next week. mmm, snowbear and the intercollegiate athletic facility. this won’t suck much. good luck finding me.

a dual all-riot-blog/memo to dave, just to kill another fifteen minutes:
that political science prof who i was so geeked on taking a class from earlier in the spring semester is — surprise! — leaving the university. but hey, what’s one last shot at the boilermaker status quo on the way out?

So, just what are the deeper issues that sit behind last month’s riot? By and large, our society has lost the ability to express spontaneously in the moment. Rather than cultivating a culture that honors and promotes the healthy expression of natural emotions like fear, envy, grief, anger and love, Purdue, and other large institutions in society, have created environments whereby emotional expression and release are either completely repressed or constrained within narrowly proscribed and mostly dysfunctional limits. One need only observe the increasing use of anti-depressant drugs and weekend binge drinking to confirm our limited understanding of emotional well-being.

These severely limited forms of emotional expression do not allow for the complete release of the emotional charges built up within us throughout our day-to-day lives. Contrary to popular belief, these charges do not “go away” when they are suppressed. They accumulate within students, staff, faculty and, yes, even police officers, and eventually require release. The longer one holds these charges, the more likely they will, given the opportunity, be released in damaging and uncontrolled outbursts. Hence, the riot.

oh, and some rioters, like, were sentenced to work release or something.