today’s outfit — black esdjco ‘support your local disc jockey’ t-shirt, black caffeine nylon pants, black old navy tech vest, and black doc martens — was mostly purchased at amused [except for the tech vest, but that was rescued from the markdown racks]. looks like i dressed up as an amused clothing night manager this year … which is exactly what i was doing this time last year!

it’s halloween. no mask necessary.

another piece of advice can now be placed alongside ‘keep it professional’ — be respectful. translated: i’m going to have to do a ridiculous amount of acting. just stunning amounts. am i up for it? well, do i have a backup plan yet? no? i guess i have to be up for it. gotta protect the cashflow by any means necessary until the plans stabilize.

and let’s review those backup plans, shall we?

plan 1: wait for an opening … and take it. the easiest course of action.
advantages: new cast, new timeslot. no more late nights sucking up bills downstairs. no more high-risk
walks home. exposure to sunlight. the opportunities to learn arcana are very high.
disadvantages: schedule conflicts may come into play. hanging downstairs will
be limited. exposure to sunlight. i would have to prove everything all over again.

plan 2: move within the university worldview.
advantages: completely new cast, possibility of same timeslot. my geek skills might actually be
utilized. the opportunites to learn new things are unlimited, depending on where i end up.
disadvantages: i’d most certainly have to lose the hair color. completely new cast means
building from the ground up again. the possibility of ending up somewhere that sucks just for the
money is there. and moving within doesn’t mean separation, not by a long shot.

plan 3: reject the university, stay in the republic.
advantages: the worldview would change radically and forever. i could do whatever i wanted.
those geek skillz could finally score me some serious jack.
disadvantages: the fee reduction would disappear, and with it all hopes of completing The Degree
here. the benefits would disappear. the real world is not as slow-paced as the university, so stress
levels would be high. [‘but they’re high now!’ she said.] the hair color wouldn’t last
through the first interview. the possibilty of ending up somewhere that sucks just for the money is there.

plan 4: reject the university, flee the republic. the last-ditch course of action.
advantages: everything would begin again … and i have the skillz to deal and survive.
disadvantages: everything would begin again … and there would be no turning back.

the giving of advice confirmed my realization of sunday evening. i am out here alone, without
plausible justification or defense. i would be more displeased, but i realize the supply lines
need to be protected.

i wonder how much i can take. i wonder how much i can let slide.

this is so much different than the first time. this time, the stakes are much much higher …
and i have the advantage of having been through the experience of being completely destroyed and
rebuilt from the ground up before. i know what’s coming and i know my options.

it’s halloween. today everyone else is freaky … and i’m perfectly normal. i wonder how many girls in black i’m going to see this afternoon & evening … probably lots more than usual [ie. more than just me].

am i going to wear a costume? gee, i thought i wore one everyday! i wish i had some khakis and a sensible earth-tone sweater to don, just for kicks … but i fear if i turn up wearing anything other than all black, there might be rioting on campus. and what am i going to do about my hair? oh, this is just too much trouble. i think i’ll stick with the workaday goth look.

and of course, since it’s halloween, it’s time to break out the old-old-school ministry:

well i live with snakes and lizards/and other things that go bump in the night
cos to me everyday is halloween/i have given up hiding and started to fight/i have started to fight

well any time, any place, anywhere that i go/all the people seem to stop and stare
they say
‘why are you dressed like it’s halloween?/you look so absurd, you look so obscene’

why can’t i live a life for me?/why should i take the abuse that’s served?
why can’t they see they’re just like me/it’s the same, it’s the same in the whole wide world

well i let their teeny minds think/that they’re dealing with someone who is over the brink
and i dress this way just to keep them at bay
/cos halloween is everyday/it’s everyday

why can’t i live a life for me?/why should i take the abuse that’s served?
why can’t they see they’re just like me/it’s the same, it’s the same in the whole wide world

why can’t i live a life for me?/why should i take the abuse that’s served?
why can’t they see they’re just like me/i’m not the one that’s so absurd

why hide it?/why fight it?/hurt feelings/best to stop feeling hurt/from denials, reprisals
it’s the same, it’s the same in the whole wide world

— ministry, ‘everyday is halloween’

i can’t believe this song is over fifteen years old.

tonies! pointed out [in his blog, click the link and scroll a bit to read it, i’ll wait] something mildly funny with regard to one of the letter writers featured in yesterday’s exponential. muahahahahaha. getting one over on the college journos is fun!

again, the readers are driving the exponential train today:

the letters section is just blowing up this week! check out these tasty morsels, ranging from a senior having warm & fuzzy flashbacks whenever they hear the bell tower chimes, to a sophomore longing for the golden days of stonegarden grindlife, to an oh-my-god-i-don’t-believe-they-printed-this rant from a junior on the ‘matt slim shadys’ swarming campus … plus the old standbys
they fall back on time and time again to fill space: the school of liberal arts v. the rest of purdue,
purdue students against sweatshops v. the rest of purdue, and, last but not least, the exponent editorial board v. the rest of purdue.

even furball piles on the letters action, with a well-written blast [complete with PBS shoutout] of the raves-are-hotbeds-of-ecstasy-and that’s-why-it’s-so-popular-with-the-kids article that ran nearly a month ago.

more, you say? well, how about HSSE’s renovation plans? maybe you’d like to find out more about the central lost and found that approximately nine people know exists [and just happens to be located next to the exponent compound on northwestern avenue]? possibly you’d like a recap of tonight’s county republican hoedown, complete with en-sweatered gubernatorial candidate, at the fairgrounds?
or perhaps, a review of schmerzen’s appearance at the bean cellar friday night?

‘newschannel 18’ sez absentee balloting is off the hook this election season; they’ve already blown past the 1996 marks! if this is any indication of what’s going to happen at the polls, i am going to have one busy tuesday …